1/22/25

(berry emo posting from the bus YAYYY lol)

thinking a lot about how people/things/times/etc. we've lost stick around in us. i have a deep craving to go to the senior prom i never got. i still half expect marley to bark at me when i come home from class. i use glass nail files because my grandma did. i swam in high school because i told my (now dead lol) friend i would. i do makeup and wear my clothes the same way my high school best friend i fell out of contact with showed me to.

my high school best friend is a devout catholic trump supporter who dresses like a kid for her old man looking 20 something boyfriend. i wonder what she thinks of me- if she thinks of me at all. she must be disappointed. she might wonder what her life could have been if i texted her back that june, about our essay. i wonder if shes ashamed of herself or of me or of our more-than-friends-not-quite-dating thing we had going for like 5 years. i wonder if she knows, deep down. i loved her and i think she loved me, too

i wonder, a lot, B.